Friday, May 6, 2011

How To Prevent or Survive a Monkey Attack


Whether in the remote forests of Bali or in the backyard of some exotic animal dealer, you may encounter a monkey. To avoid bodily injury to yourself or to the monkey, read on for tips on how to protect yourself from any "unwanted" contact. Remember, monkeys have a unique muscular structure, and can possess up to 4 times the strength of the average man because of the amount of lactic acid in their blood.



Steps

1
Learn that whatever the situation is, never heckle a monkey. They have feelings and get irritated, and they are very instinctive. So if you anger or annoy a monkey it will bite, scratch or inflict other bodily harm upon you.

2
Take proper precautions, depending on the situation. Look around and think to yourself, "Is the monkey in a secure enclosure?" If not, "Is there a place where I can secure myself if the monkey were to attack?" Avoid operations where monkeys are on leashes or tied to trees.

3
Recognize that even if the monkey is in a cage or enclosure, you need to stay a distance away from the cage. Do not put your hands on the cage, either. Just watch from a distance.

4
If you are in a situation where the monkey is not in a cage, you're playing a whole different ball game. Again think, "Is the monkey loose?" "On a chain or rope?" "Within grabbing distance?" If the situation seems safe, proceed to the next step.

5
Step back and look at yourself. Do you have food, shiny jewelery, glasses, children or toys with you? If so, you should remove those items or yourself from the situation. Monkeys are attracted things that shine, smell good and make noise, so be aware of what you may be dangling in front of their faces.

6
Stay calm in the unfortunate and unlikely event that you are attacked. If the monkey charges you, don't fight back. The monkey can run, jump and climb better than you. Find something to get in between you and the monkey--a garbage can lid, a car or a steel door, anything you have that works.

7
Protect yourself by barricading yourself somewhere--a bathroom or building of some sort, your car. Anything safe and secure should be fine. Unless you've really angered or annoyed the monkey, it should lose interest within minutes and go away.

8
Notify the owner first and then animal control, but only if absolutely necessary.

9
Never get within the monkey's reach.

10 
Many monkeys roam wild but are frequently in contact with humans. Monkeys like these are frequently taunted by children throwing stones and other objects at them. A good tactic for scaring away a monkey is to pretend to throw something at them or to carry a couple of small rocks to throw at the ground near the monkey's feet. Never throw the stone directly at the monkey unless you are in serious danger.

RUN!

10 comments:

  1. so, it is never recommended to moon the monkey either? woot

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  2. Best way to avoid a Monkey Attack is to stay at home and never go out. following

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  3. Monkey's... those guys are A LOT stronger than you would think. Good think I live in the city, no monkey attacks for me.

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  4. I laughed. Didnt know that monkeys were that dangerous. Well, i should have known since
    http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/04/funny-pictures-hitman-monkey-drowns-boy.jpg?w=422&h=495

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  5. One of the most interesting blogs I've come across! I'm sure these will help me out in life. XD

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  6. Monkeys are so cute where would be w/o them

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  7. nice, I feel like i am prepared for the situation now ;)

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